She's my world
by christmasinacup
Summary: Arthur loves Joan with all his heart, and just wants her to trust him. He may seem tough on the outside, but when it comes down to it, losing her is unthinkable. She's his world. After an amazing night, he figures out how to get her really trust him.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I don't own Covert Affairs or it's characters, just borrowing them…

This is my first Joan/Arthur fic as well as my first fic ever, so please review! Thanks

BIG thank you to **genjacq** and her "mind grapes" ;) lol

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Joan's POV

I stared at the clock. 8:46 pm.

When would Arthur be home? And what if he didn't agree with me?

I had been working hard at the CIA when I met Arthur. I knew what I wanted, and falling in love was not part of the plan. But his gaze captured mine the moment I walked into Clandestine Services. And then, after a few weeks of secret glances on my part, I learned he was married. I was heartbroken, but I picked up the pieces and moved on. A few weeks later, Arthur asked me to dinner. Was it wrong? Yes, but I was foolish, young, and desperately in love. And so the story goes….

We married, and it was wonderful. He left his wife, and I loved him like I had never loved anyone before. But now I felt it all slipping away.

I looked around the room. I had considered candles or mood lighting, but it felt too cliché. I'd changed from my charcoal gray work dress to a red silk nightie that hit my upper thigh over an hour ago.

I waited nervously. 8:58. And then I heard the creak of the front door.

"Joan?"

Oh god. I stared at myself in the mirror.

"Joan, honey?"

I turned around to see Arthur standing in the doorway of our bedroom. I got a warm feeling throughout my body, and I smiled.

"Arthur, th-there's something I wanted to discuss with you."

I watched as he slipped off his suit jacket and hung it in the closet. He began to undo his tie, walking to the dresser. He then smiled, walking over to me. He stroked a piece of my pale blonde hair, sending shivers down my spine.

"Listen, Arthur, I….," I didn't know how to get it out.

"What is it, Joan?"

"I still love you, Arthur. And I want this to work. I feel distant from you, and I don't want our marriage to fall apart. I know things have been getting better, and I want it to stay that way."

Arthur looked at me. I couldn't read his eyes, and that frightened me. And then he kissed me. It was full of passion, strong. It had been a while since he had kissed me this way. I surrendered to the only person I could ever let my guard down around, wrapping my arms around him. He pulled me toward our bed, guiding me down gently. I heard the sound of him slipping out of his shoes, never once breaking the kiss. Once it ended, I pulled him forward, unbuttoning his shirt. He laid down next to me, kissing me again and again. I sighed. I had missed this so much. I pulled him closer, holding him as tight as I could, kissing him deeply, letting him hold me. I felt safe in his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur's POV

I looked at the clock. 2:15 am. I stared at my beautiful wife, asleep beside me. She was turned slightly away from me, her bare back moving up and down slowly as she breathed. As I drove home yesterday, Joan was on my mind, but more than usual. Things had been getting better between us, and I loved her more than anything in the world. When she thought I was having an affair a few weeks ago, my heart almost broke. I was terrible at exposing my emotions behind my tough, man-in-charge exterior, but the thought of losing Joan nearly killed me. She was everything to me. Without her….. I don't know what I would do.

I was married before I met Joan, and even when we began seeing each other. I'm not proud of it, but I was not in a happy marriage. It was headed for divorce anyway. I'm just glad my ex-wife never really found out about Joan. She had her suspicions, but I never confirmed or denied them.

But tonight had been wonderful. We hadn't been so intimate, so emotionally and physically _close_ in so long, but it felt like these past few months of arguments, separate cars to work, and silent nights have never happened. Now I just needed a way to truly express my love to Joan, to show her how important she was to me. I thought for hours and hours. At 5:03, I decided it would be best to get some sleep, but then shot that idea down in favor of bringing Joan breakfast in bed. It was Saturday, and that was usually the day we stayed home, sometimes going to the CIA in the afternoon. I read a file I had brought home yesterday, prepared to read before Joan wonderfully surprised me. I made a few notes, and at 6:30, got out of bed and headed to the kitchen.

As I walked around to Joan side of the bed, I saw a faint smile on her lips. I leaned over, unable to resist kissing her softly on the lips. She slept on, and I left the room with a smile to match hers.


	3. Chapter 3

Joan's POV

When I woke up, I was drowsy. It took a few minutes for the thoughts of last night to come back to me. And when they did, I smiled to myself. Arthur had definitely spent some of that time out of the house at the gym. Part of me was sad, however. One amazing night didn't magically make everything perfect. I needed trust, I needed support. I needed… my husband. I turned around- speaking of husband, where the hell was Arthur?

"Breakfast for the most beautiful woman in Virginia- no, the_ world_," I hear Arthur say. I turned back around to see Arthur carrying a breakfast tray. My heart jumped a little. How romantic, and sweet, and thoughtful. I smiled again, even bigger than before. I waited until he put the tray down, then got out of bed and hugged him, not realizing until I was wrapping my arms around him that I was completely naked. He kissed my forehead, noticing me blush. I resisted the urge to jump away when I felt his cotton t-shirt and boxers on my bare skin, instead I held him closer. We broke apart, and he held out my nightgown.

"I would be privileged to eat breakfast with someone so beautiful, but if this would make you more comfortable….," He smiled slyly at me and offered to slip the nightgown over my head.

"Thanks, sweetheart," I said, slipping in to it. I turned around and kissed him again. It felt so…. good. There was really no other way to describe it.

"Orange juice?"

"Actually, Arthur, I wanted to talk to you first," I said nervously, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Me too," he said. _Really?,_ I thought. Arthur wasn't one for long, deep conversations. "What did you want to say?"

"Joan, I love you more than anything in the whole world. You _are_ my world. I want you to know you can trust me, and I would never do anything to hurt you. I never let it show, but these past few months have been really hard on me. I want to see you, only you, every time I open my eyes in the morning and every night before I close them for the rest of our lives."

I was speechless. I could feel a tear forming in my eye, and I tried to hold it off. Arthur had never exposed himself like that to me before. _I was his world?_ The tear fell.

"Arthur, I love you too. More than you could ever imagine," I was whispered, crying a little more. I was never one for being emotional, and I could tell by Arthur's face that he was just as surprised as I was. He pulled me close, stroking my hair and rubbing his hands up and down my back. Then he used his thumb to dry a few of my tears. I tried to compose myself, but he leaned in and kissed me. And it all just melted away.


End file.
